The Adventures of the Political Idiots

D=

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:17:28 GMT

My game recently exploded into a big firey ball of nothingness after installing the Freetime patch.

I had all the expansion packs and stuffpacks installed, so...this is going to take a while to get back up and running. ;_; Sorry.

Don't worry, I still have all the data for everything.

#4

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:41:44 GMT

"John, you need to get with the times! Young people will never vote for you if you don't understand what's important to them!"

This conversation was the result of some redecorating, namely I was pissed off at the fireplace blocking my view. So I gave our candidates a little treat instead of a useless fireplace.

Barack Obama's war strategy is being practiced right here. He is ordering the withdrawal the fish from from the coral castle.

"If you watch the fish, you can predict the future movements of Al Qaida!"

Hillary agrees. The fish hold the key.

...

Durr um. I'm just glad they're not making out or something. =B

...but I'm not sure what the hell is going on here. =D;;;

Hillary usually cooks the food and stores it in her inventory. I get it out when they need food. Unfortunately, her cooking skills aren't that great, and Barack tells her so.

Potential vice presidents need to learn how to cook a good meal, damnit.

Later that morning, McCain decided to do what he loves best: BUG HUNTING~~~~

Learning from his mistakes of last time, he actually caught something! Aww. Aren't you proud of yourself, McCain. <3

So then he went on to look for birds. Or voters. Or up Hililary's nonexistent skirt.

But he soon grew bored with it, so...

MC 'CAIN TIME.

Zombie Sephiroth came by, and he wasn't too fond of McCain's crappy 1970's Vietnamese freestype. He walked right by without even stopping to listen to the horridness.

BUT GUESS WHO DID STOP TO LISTEN.

IT'S OUR DEAD 26TH PRESIDENT, TEDDY ROOSEVELT.

HE'S BEEN EVERYWHERE. HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING. NO BULL.

(Random townie walking by. I think it's one of the hobby club leaders =B And uh, I have InSIMenator, so...yeah, he's selectable <3;;;)

First order of business - WE DANCE.

He's so awesome, he makes Barack Obama feel inadequate.

SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS~~ Calling all MEN. We must have a MANLY MANCHAT in the hot tub.

...Hillary joins too, much to Teddy's displeasure.

So they talk about the issues that Teddy faced back in his day. Big business sucks!

McCain asks Roosevelt's advice on the economy. =B

I'm not sure why, but McCain decided that this was a great time to go rake leaves in the backyard.

Teddy sees.

Teddy can't resist.

Teddy plays. <3

Um, uh.

We didn't start the fire. He did.

John totally thinks this is cool for the environment. He gets a ++ for nature enthusiam just thinking about that bigass fire and how pleased Smokey the bear would be. Smokey the bear would love forest fires, wouldn't he?

...THIS DOG. HE COMES EVERY DAY.

I think I should hack him into the family or something. He practically lives here at night.

Teddy is immune to any diseases he may catch from eating spoiled food.

Because he's Teddy Roosevelt, damnit. <3

AND THEN WE HAD A DRINKING PARTY. And John was a party pooper and too tired to do anything but complain.

------

That's it for today. But I will leave you with this amazingly epic image of what's to come next. <3333

#3

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:49:37 GMT

We had a gay marriage discussion in the hot tub. After a few drinks, McCain is surprisinging unopposed to the idea.

...

Hey. HEY. What the shit. What is this. Bitter rivals getting cozy with each other?!

Thankfully it did not last long, and nothing really developed out of it. They parted after a minute or so.

But this gave John the idea that now was a great time to make a move on Hillary. *sigh* Oh, John...

GUESS WHO'S BACK TO SEE HIS FAVORITE OLD MAN.

<333 Awwwwe. It's Lucky.

"Mmm...I just had a GREAT dream about ME! <3"

The next morning, our ever-important first time voter paperboy came. John McCain saw this as a time to win over the young crowd.

The views of the paperboy are radically different from McCain's, however. They don't quite see eye to eye on the issues...

He wanders into the house to see his favorite candidate. Aw. I think he likes her in a special way. <3

...

I think he's a little braindead, personally. He kind of stood like this for five minutes after she left to eat her omelette.

So what's his final opinion on John McCain?

FAIL. HE FAILS. FAIL FAIL FAIL. SO FAIL THAT HE CROSSED THE MCCAIN THOUGHT BUBBLE WITH TRASH. I guess he has half a brain, then. <3

...

So which one do you want in the White House bathrooms?

John's toilet is dirty. Maybe that speaks something.

But on the other hand, John has a bit of an OCD problem...

<333 Look! It's a voter! He's part of the older voting crowd and he's undecided. Let's give him a big warm welcome to discuss the issues! Come on in, Zombie Sephiroth!

So what's the most important issue for you, Sephiroth?

Brains. Of course. <3 It's hard to find good quality brains these days. They're all going overseas just like our jobs.

It's tough to please Sephiroth.

He listens, but he really doesn't like what Hillary has to say.

Hillary decides to loosen him up a bit by poking him. But that doesn't go over well.

One thing leads to another, and...

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

Hillary gained 5204 experience points and gained a level. Her INT stat gained two points. =P

Sephiroth decides to back off from Hillary and discuss legislation about brains with Barack. It's a very positive discussion. He likes Obama's ideas about change.

Barack Obama - the only candidate willing to discuss politics while naked in a hot tub with a zombie. <3

He hasn't fully made up his mind on who he's voting for, but we know for sure he's not a fan of Hillary Clinton.

...

Later that night, something rare happens. John McCain and Barack Obama have a positive discussion!

...Oh, John. ;___; What are you doing. Just because you have a good conversation doesn't mean it's time to show your rainbows.

"Bitch, plz. You don't kiss me. D:<"

#2

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 22:19:38 GMT

Sometimes, being an outgoing charismatic leader can be a bad thing. Or good. Depends on how you look at it.

Barack obviously has nothing to hide. Politically AND physically.

But, uh...our Republican friend with conservative values isn't so comfortable.

...or is he? You decide. <3

John thinks he needs a straight-check decides to make a move on Hillary Clinton. You know, reach out for some bipartisan lovin'. So he decides to give Hillary a big ol' McCain hug! Who could turn one of those down?

"Woah there! Not so fast. Let's learn to be friends first."

He was kind of sad about it. Aw. =(

John is pissed about Hillary turning down his hug, so he finds her and berates her on Big Oil.

"We totally need to give tax cuts to the oil companies so they can raise production. You think otherwise? EUGH. I hate you."

...But, uh...this didn't stop him from doing...this.

I don't know what's up with him. Wanting to be friends, getting pissy at them the next, and then wanting some action. He's a strange fellow. And Hillary looks like she's lol'in at people in her sleep.

Meanwhile, Barack looks adorable on the couch taking a nice happy nap, dreaming of when he'd be the next president. Awww. =D

When he wakes up, John goes to him to talk about what happened earlier with Hillary. Barack's a young guy, he knows how to handle the ladies. Totally.

But Barack does the right thing and protects his fellow candidate from the slightly creepy old man. "Bitch, plz."

Hillary left the bed after the incident and took a nap downstairs. She has something against the couches, they're all Republican or something. So she decides this is the best pillow she can have for now.

The next day, John asks Hillary for a game of catch, an American tradition. I think. Uh. Well, it looks patriotic and everyday-man-like. And it actually catches the attention of a potential voter! The mail boy is pleased. Or maybe he's pleased at the bikini, we don't know.

Later that day, guess who comes for a visit? It's Lucky! The master wolf! Awwwww!!! <3 Don't you just want to hug and snuggle him? Yes you do. ^^

John wasted no time leaving his cooking dinner on the stove to pet the adorable fuzzball. Hm, could John and Lucky become friends soon?...A political alliance of sorts! Man and wolf!

...

But then this happened to his dinner.

Strangely, no one noticed but the firefighters.

John goes off to fulfill bathroom needs, while Lucky decides to OM NOM NOM on Barack's favorite sleeping couch. Bad puppy! D:<

Time passes, and then John, for whatever reason, gives up on sleeping with Hillary and goes bug hunting.

Except he kind of sucks at it and attracts a hoard of bees. Poor John.

#1

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:27:50 GMT

Upon moving into their new mansion of sorts, Hillary walked over to Obama and started ranbling about war policies. War is bad! Yeah. There was agreement. He listened, but he was mostly bored of Hillary's future policies, so he walked off shortly.

"We have to look patriotic," says McCain.

"For once, I agree with you."

So what better way for our candidates to look patriotic to their neighborhood full of future voters than to play the great American game of FOOTBALL~~~

Obama felt he was obviously above such politics of presenting himself as someone he's not, and so he went off to take a nice bubblebath. It's been a long, long election.

After their game of pigskin, McCain and Hillary explored the house. Hillary went off to check out the kitchen, while McCain decided to indirectly challenge the democrats to a smustle contest in the bathroom.

Obama can so top that little act of jumping and waving. He goes for Thriller. McCain saw that he was defeated, and gave a well-deserved applause.

"Senator Clinton, what exactly are you doing there?"

Hillary gets down in the bathroom, but it's obviously too late for anyone to care. Poor Obama is trapped in the bathroom and forced to watch.

...after Hillary finishes, they discuss the rising energy costs. In the bathroom.

McCain decides with the little cooking skill he has to extend a gesture of friendship to the democrats. He makes sandwiches for everyone.

Hillary and McCain ponder about the meaning of their living together. They're both white and priviledged people who were obviously meant to be the nominees for their party. And then this black guy came out of nowhere.

Obama answers their questions about himself. Like what he thinks about the stock market, rising oil prices, and if he's seen any hot chick flicks lately.

"If I'm Obama's VP...I'll be in the White House kitchen again. =("

...where she belongs. =)

---------------

Not a lot has happened so far. Everyone is friends. I'm sure drama will start to happen when needs go down and they have to manage themselves for a change, rather than have all their campagin workers do it for them...

And so it begins!

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:38:17 GMT

Here are the candidates in all their simified glory: Barack Obama, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton.

They will live together under one roof...with no control from me.

What kind of chaos will result?

=O